Everything shouldn't be so serious :)

I found these online (yay stumbleupon!) and made me laugh outloud...in the library.


Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun,
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men
Had scrabled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
Then died of electric shock.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
And when the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.